Let Pain be Gracious

 Welcome Back!

First post of the year and I pray that it is not my last!

I'm feeling optimistic.

I think I can do one post a month or I'll challenge myself to one post a month. I do not know the day nor the hour, so we will be surprised together! But I accept the challenge!

I am determined to accomplish everything that I could not do in 2023 due to various reasons and circumstances that were out of my control.

I am determined to regain consciousness. 

I cannot believe that it has been two years since I've written a blog post! Where did the time go? It really does go by quickly!

Did you miss me? To be honest, I have not missed this as much as I'd thought I would, but I have been thinking an awful lot about this blog for the last couple of weeks. 

Life grabbed me and demanded all of me and when I needed an escape, writing was the last thing on my mind, but I did a lot of reading!

After I posted the very last post I'd written, I stumbled upon this one in my drafts, nothing was written, it was just titled. 

I began this post two years ago. 

It's been titled after a song on Adele's "30" album, "Hold On." This entire album has had me in a chokehold since it debuted in November of 2021! She sang, "Let time be patient/let pain be gracious" and it has been my prayer ever since. 

What a year 2023 had been for me! Like Charles Darwin wrote in A Tale of Two Cities, "It was the best of times and it was the worst of times."

Have mercy!

I look back over all the things that I've accomplished in 2023, and I am PROUD of me, but I am also exhausted! I sat down the other day and realized that I have been grinding for the last decade! While I like to think of it as an investment, I almost burned myself this year! 

I had to take a break from going to church just to get some rest! And while it was one of the most enjoyable years of my life, I had to sacrifice a lot of me for others! (That's another post for another time!)

It feels good to be back here. There is something cathartic about this platform for me, but I need to reacquaint myself with this, again.

Do I still have something to say?

Will I attract more followers and readers?

Am I still up for this challenge?

All sorts of questions have been swimming in my mind because I can always find a reason to not do something, but what is ONE reason that I can? ME!

I am doing this for me; for little me and future me!

Blogging used to come so easy for me, but now it's like I have nothing to say. I just don't feel like thinking, typing, or proofreading another word, but I'm pushing myself. I've had over 24k views to my blog post since I've been gone and I'm so thankful for that!

I think the most difficult thing about blogging is not taking my own advice! 

I wrote years ago that I have to stop trying to fit into places and spaces that I've outgrown and here I am looking back on the format of my old posts, my old style of writing, and my language to mirror that here. 

That no longer serves me. 

I am not who I was nor will I attempt to be her, so please bear with me as I find my voice again. As I navigate who I am and consciously decide what I want to say because I still believe that I have something to say.

If you miss my old style of writing, then read my old blogs because I do not want to confuse movement with progress!

My intentions remain the same; to enlighten, to entertain, and to encourage. But my sense of self and the direction that I'm headed has changed.

The scariest place to be next year, is exactly where we are, now. And I'm thankful for the changes that I've made in the last two years. 

Hold on!

2023 may not have ended the way that I wanted it to, but I still think that there is still a lesson in "failed" plans. How do I know that? Because God specializes in MIRACLES! It's at the 11th hour when He does His best work, so I still thank God because 2023 set up 2024 for an amazing comeback! 

Hold on!

We have arrived here together for a purpose and it is time to stand on business. I made it to 2024 for a reason, so I plan to act accordingly!

Hold on!

My prayer for each of us in this new year is that time is patient and pain be gracious! 

Just... keep holding on!

As always, the pleasure is STILL mine!