Artificial Intelligence

Good morning!

Happy New Year!

Happy Black History Month!

Happy Self-awareness Year!

I wanted to share some reflections on how I am approaching this year. I am making a conscious effort to speak, move, and step into things differently.

Reflecting on last year, I realize I allowed certain people and distractions to affect my joy and focus. This year, I am being much more intentional about the company I keep and the environments I inhabit. I believe that my growth and blessings require a specific environment to thrive, and I am committed to avoiding self-sabotage.

I was recently inspired by a message from Sarah Jakes Roberts, who said, "You have to understand that when God places you in certain environments, it's because the Lord recognizes that you have hidden capacity." It reminded me that we may be capable of much more than we imagine, but we need the right environment to draw out that hidden potential.

I titled this piece "Artificial Intelligence," not in the literal sense of robotics, but in a metaphysical and psychological context—referring to the tricks our minds can play on our well-being. It’s like the advice not to Google your symptoms; sometimes the anxiety doesn't manifest until you look them up.

In all seriousness, I’ve realized that our internal "AI," much like technology, can be both beneficial and harmful. I have been working on this post for a while, eventually realizing that two other pieces I started were conveying the same message, so I decided to merge them.

The inspiration came one morning at work when the song "There's a Leak in This Old Building" popped into my head. For a long time, I couldn’t find a title that captured the message, and I even stepped away from the draft at one point because I felt unqualified to finish it.

Ultimately, I realized that I was the one "leaking."  I was trying to use temporary "patchwork" to fix deep-seated fractures in my life. I’ve come to understand that healing isn't about quick fixes; it’s a process of letting go of fear and choosing faith.

There is not enough room in your life for both faith and fear. Every day, you must decide which stays, because you cannot defeat the demons you enjoy playing with.

To be honest, the ground still feels shaky and I am figuring things out. While the emotions are still processing, I refuse to look back. I’m taking it one step at a time.

I have several questions on my mind this morning:

- Why is pain celebrated, while achievements are often frowned upon?

- Why do we prioritize potential over character?

- Why is healing equated with selfishness?

- Why are women disproportionately blamed for unwanted pregnancies?

- Why do some people lack a support system?

 

Everything in your life reflects a choice you have made. If you want different results, you must make different choices. 

In his sermon, "Drum Major Instinct," Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke about the human desire to lead and be recognized. I realize now that my own pride and ego—this "drum major instinct"—often left me feeling inadequate. I have accomplishments I should be proud of, yet I do not feel successful. I often feel that a single mistake cancels out a lifetime of good, but I am learning that a failure is not a permanent tattoo; it is a bruise—a lesson and a cautionary tale.

This instinct, heightened by social media, makes us feel unfulfilled. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that our desire for acknowledgement is selfish, a response rooted in past trauma. I have struggled to speak up for my needs or ask for help because of those who let me down in the past. I’ve mistaken those who are here for surveillance for those who are here for support.

I recently regretted a decision that I now realize did not have God’s approval. However, I know I serve a God who protects me even in my disobedience and continues to bless me.

While I find platonic friendships easy to maintain, romantic relationships fill me with dread due to the different standards and pressures involved. When a relationship ends, I move on without bitterness because I have often mourned the loss long before the final goodbye. I have stayed in situations where apologies were never met with changed behavior, hoping for a different outcome.

People show up differently when their needs are met. When you are not in a state of depletion, a new version of yourself is unlocked. Some have called me selfish or lazy, but I believe my peace simply looks like privilege to those in chaos.

Elevation requires separation. You must outgrow the version of yourself that tolerated inconsistency and prioritized potential over character. God will evolve you in ways that expose those who were only comfortable when you were insecure or silent.

The old version of you has served her purpose. You are now disciplined, discerning, and divinely guided. This new version of you carries wisdom and standards that disqualify those who previously mishandled you. Be bold and confident, for God never fails.

I am realizing that while the strongest parts of me were built out of survival, I have the strength to handle whatever I take on.

My hope is to continue finding the courage to disappoint those who want me to stay small because not every door is locked—some are just jammed and need a little push.

You can either walk through the rain or just get wet; the choice is yours. There is peace even in the storm. 

I hope this encourages you to recognize your own hidden capacity and trust that your purpose will be revealed when the time is right.

As always,

The pleasure is all mine!!!